What is the obsession with Persia?
It could be the breathtaking Perisan beauty, the beads or the clothes or the amazing fascination we have with Prince and Princesses. Or maybe we are just too bored with our own lives.
Anyways, it is that sense of boredom, friendship and a cue of rum that brought me and the Prince of Persia together in the first place. The boredom I regret, the other two I will keep.
Let's begin with facts- the Prince of Persia is a video game. The brainchild of what I have decided is some man obsessed with trite and love conquers all bullcrap.
The film is based on the Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The third instalment in the Prince of Persia video game series. I think the film started going downhill the minute it was based on a video game.
There was time when the new worlds would never dare meet but as CGI becomes the heart of the top grossing films video games are getting their 15 minutes of fame on the big screen.
But a great film isn't based on swinging and jumping and sand turning back time. A great film is based on a well worked plot, characters that take your breath away and dialogue. Sensible dialogue.
Prince of Persia was a bunch of white people with long hair and British accents playing hop scotch in sand. Lots and lots of sand.God bless Jake Gylenhaal for putting in time at the gym, Ben Kingsley for having those eyes and the bond girl for being a Bond Girl- one can reminisce on her bond performance while she is on screen.
And I think that' where it lost me- where were the Persians? And don't tell me they were hard to find cause with all that sand- they clearly had a budget. Them couldn't find two Persian. They can't tell me they needed big name actors for the film to make it big.
It has been proven time and time again that as far as fans of fantasy and adventure go- if the plot is what we expect it to be will make that unknown into Hollywood's next big star.
The actors in the Lord of the Rings were known to us but definitely not Hollywood's leading men. Jake you were a bore and you don't look good with long hair on your head and you look as Persian as I do.
And let's talk about script- the story is based in the 6th century and postulate that the words bureaucrat, Armageddon and entrepreneur were not being wielded so freely back then but who am I to pay attention to detail.
And as I write this and force myself to remember this horrific moment in my past I can't decide if the movie or the people enjoying it were more traumatic. The theatre was full to capacity and I was very confused. They were with Prince Dastan and his kangaroo moves all the way.
And before you think it doesn't make me harsh; it makes them in need of having better standards for what entertains them.
Prince of Persia was usurped by the company. God bless the company. It was like a sign from the heavens saying if this teaches you anything- DO NOT GO TO THE MOVIES ALONE!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Symbol of Democracy?
The predicament that the Jamaica Labour Party, the government and the people of Jamaica now face is no longer about truths, lies and omissions. It has become about humility, respect and courage.
The leading Jamaica Labour Party for what appears to be political posterity has taken it upon themselves to fight steadfastly the extradition of Christopher ‘Dudus’ Coke. So committed have they been to this fight that they have risked their governance, their relationship with the Jamaican people and the integrity of the party.
Christopher ‘Dudus’ Coke is like an urban legend to many- we may never see him or encounter his humanity in the flesh but the power of his presence we will always be aware of. However, any hopes of saying internally as Jamaican nation “Dudus must go” have been erased by Prime Minister Bruce Golding’s fear of his constituent member.
It is this fear that has given birth to the lies, the omissions and the cries for the truths. Yet, the governing political party being lead astray by old men from the old guard has failed to find humility. The JLP dogs have stood toe to toe with a media fraternity that is obviously disgusted with their behaviour and as I listened to Samuda and Baugh’s press conference last evening, the lesson to be learnt is this.
Our political parties must stop playing Russian Roulette with each other and stand up and answer to the people. The indiscretions of the People’s National Party do not justify the indiscretions of the Jamaica Labour Party. As such the Prime Minister and the Jamaica Labour Party are both arrogant and wrong.
The behaviour displayed by Karl Samuda and Dr. Ken Baugh affirms the disrespect for the Jamaican people whom they serve. However, this seed of disrespect was sewn by us- the people. We exalt political leaders; we make excuses for them granting them the permission to be corrupt and not face the consequences of negative actions. Our political leaders will never be humble until they are forced to answer the tough and unfavourable questions.
So what happens now? The Prime Minister resigns; and then what? It seems no one has the answer to the “and then what”.
Resignation is a humble action indeed and a sign of the acceptance of his wrong; a symbol of democracy. On the other side, what does an apology say? The unfortunate reality is our political landscape does not offer us the luxury of a blanket resignation. The political tribalism is simply too great.
In this particular predicament a resignation would be the more cowardice of choices. Prime Minister Bruce Golding standing up and apologising is a more courageous act if and only if, he turns away from arrogance. Stay in power and fix your mess Mr. Golding because before you overreached as a Prime Minister this was not a mess.
But then in the face of political leaders realising that they answer to the people- which is the greater symbol of democracy- a resignation or an apology? Sigh.
The leading Jamaica Labour Party for what appears to be political posterity has taken it upon themselves to fight steadfastly the extradition of Christopher ‘Dudus’ Coke. So committed have they been to this fight that they have risked their governance, their relationship with the Jamaican people and the integrity of the party.
Christopher ‘Dudus’ Coke is like an urban legend to many- we may never see him or encounter his humanity in the flesh but the power of his presence we will always be aware of. However, any hopes of saying internally as Jamaican nation “Dudus must go” have been erased by Prime Minister Bruce Golding’s fear of his constituent member.
It is this fear that has given birth to the lies, the omissions and the cries for the truths. Yet, the governing political party being lead astray by old men from the old guard has failed to find humility. The JLP dogs have stood toe to toe with a media fraternity that is obviously disgusted with their behaviour and as I listened to Samuda and Baugh’s press conference last evening, the lesson to be learnt is this.
Our political parties must stop playing Russian Roulette with each other and stand up and answer to the people. The indiscretions of the People’s National Party do not justify the indiscretions of the Jamaica Labour Party. As such the Prime Minister and the Jamaica Labour Party are both arrogant and wrong.
The behaviour displayed by Karl Samuda and Dr. Ken Baugh affirms the disrespect for the Jamaican people whom they serve. However, this seed of disrespect was sewn by us- the people. We exalt political leaders; we make excuses for them granting them the permission to be corrupt and not face the consequences of negative actions. Our political leaders will never be humble until they are forced to answer the tough and unfavourable questions.
So what happens now? The Prime Minister resigns; and then what? It seems no one has the answer to the “and then what”.
Resignation is a humble action indeed and a sign of the acceptance of his wrong; a symbol of democracy. On the other side, what does an apology say? The unfortunate reality is our political landscape does not offer us the luxury of a blanket resignation. The political tribalism is simply too great.
In this particular predicament a resignation would be the more cowardice of choices. Prime Minister Bruce Golding standing up and apologising is a more courageous act if and only if, he turns away from arrogance. Stay in power and fix your mess Mr. Golding because before you overreached as a Prime Minister this was not a mess.
But then in the face of political leaders realising that they answer to the people- which is the greater symbol of democracy- a resignation or an apology? Sigh.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Of Visas, Prison Time and Dancehall
"The system a disrespect deh Killa"
"How dah girl deh can do this to deh Killa?"
"How yuh fi a tek weh big man Visa?"
its all the rage in dancehall. The visa revocation and the famed dancehall artist. Actually, whatever wrongs or ills reaches the dancehall artist always seems to be the rage. But, I keep wondering what makes them so special.
Why when a dancehall artist is forced to fake his wrongs the system a fight him out and why the revocation of them visa is a gross injustice?
I feel like there are some simple points that need to made here. A lot of people go to US Embassies and get revoked. Even more wait years to be given the infamous green card. But guess what a VISA to visit another country is a PRIVILEGE not a RIGHT. Beenie Man is not entitled to enter the United States though he seems to think so. No one is entitled to enter any country except for maybe Jamaica cause all we require is your breathing to get in.
Flippa Mafia clearly thought that the right to enter the US was his. No nigga, mi woulda love see you try floss now.
Bounty Killa is now out on bail on another case. Just further proof that the system is fucked. I think Kadeem Baker should be charged with public mischief and whatever else she could have been charged with. they left the Killa in prison for a while to cool off but you know my bigger issue is not his beating this girl cause clearly she like it.
Releasing Bounty Killa on bail validates him once again. Because he has committed other alleged crimes while out on bail, he has no respect for the system and obviously the system has no respect for itself. So, he attacks another officer, runs another 7 red lights, beats another woman, among other charges and ends up before the court again; he will probably laugh.
I probably would; mek the most sense to me.
Meanwhile Ninja Man sits in prison for a year waiting on a court date. Actually, many men are sitting in lock-ups at police stations for years waiting for their cases to be called but fighting for their rights is insignificant.
Why would they be important? They aren't dancehall artists or musicians.
And isn't that the bigger problem, the real issue. The reason why some dancehall artist will never be heard on The Entertainment Office on Nationwide 90FM. The worship factor.
We are the first to condemn Americans, Europeans even Canadians for artist worship. Oh look at them trying to be Lady Gaga but we do the same thing. You think because we don't have a room in our house dedicated to Sizzla it makes us any less fanatical.
Have you seen the mantourage? Have you witnessed the demeaning things they will do in hopes that the artist will let off a money? They way we allow artist to act like assholes and no one tells them to have respect. Actually, if an artists disrespects you; one is likely to be told "easy and just respect deh artist".
Well, as a media practitioner many an artist has hung up the phone in my ears and i am forced to call that artist again and it disgusts me because if I don't it means i am not committed to my job. IT comes with the territory.
That artists ego was built by YOU the Jamaican public. Who treats the artist better than self. The last artist who hung up the phone in my ears and then called me for something got an earful from me.
So let's realise that the mes and yous have meaning and value and stop treating these artists like members of the trinity.
"How dah girl deh can do this to deh Killa?"
"How yuh fi a tek weh big man Visa?"
its all the rage in dancehall. The visa revocation and the famed dancehall artist. Actually, whatever wrongs or ills reaches the dancehall artist always seems to be the rage. But, I keep wondering what makes them so special.
Why when a dancehall artist is forced to fake his wrongs the system a fight him out and why the revocation of them visa is a gross injustice?
I feel like there are some simple points that need to made here. A lot of people go to US Embassies and get revoked. Even more wait years to be given the infamous green card. But guess what a VISA to visit another country is a PRIVILEGE not a RIGHT. Beenie Man is not entitled to enter the United States though he seems to think so. No one is entitled to enter any country except for maybe Jamaica cause all we require is your breathing to get in.
Flippa Mafia clearly thought that the right to enter the US was his. No nigga, mi woulda love see you try floss now.
Bounty Killa is now out on bail on another case. Just further proof that the system is fucked. I think Kadeem Baker should be charged with public mischief and whatever else she could have been charged with. they left the Killa in prison for a while to cool off but you know my bigger issue is not his beating this girl cause clearly she like it.
Releasing Bounty Killa on bail validates him once again. Because he has committed other alleged crimes while out on bail, he has no respect for the system and obviously the system has no respect for itself. So, he attacks another officer, runs another 7 red lights, beats another woman, among other charges and ends up before the court again; he will probably laugh.
I probably would; mek the most sense to me.
Meanwhile Ninja Man sits in prison for a year waiting on a court date. Actually, many men are sitting in lock-ups at police stations for years waiting for their cases to be called but fighting for their rights is insignificant.
Why would they be important? They aren't dancehall artists or musicians.
And isn't that the bigger problem, the real issue. The reason why some dancehall artist will never be heard on The Entertainment Office on Nationwide 90FM. The worship factor.
We are the first to condemn Americans, Europeans even Canadians for artist worship. Oh look at them trying to be Lady Gaga but we do the same thing. You think because we don't have a room in our house dedicated to Sizzla it makes us any less fanatical.
Have you seen the mantourage? Have you witnessed the demeaning things they will do in hopes that the artist will let off a money? They way we allow artist to act like assholes and no one tells them to have respect. Actually, if an artists disrespects you; one is likely to be told "easy and just respect deh artist".
Well, as a media practitioner many an artist has hung up the phone in my ears and i am forced to call that artist again and it disgusts me because if I don't it means i am not committed to my job. IT comes with the territory.
That artists ego was built by YOU the Jamaican public. Who treats the artist better than self. The last artist who hung up the phone in my ears and then called me for something got an earful from me.
So let's realise that the mes and yous have meaning and value and stop treating these artists like members of the trinity.
Friday, March 12, 2010
"I told you she didnt have a dick"
This blog is for the Haus and Gaga. Stefani Germanotta if you ask mi woulda have yuh baby dem yuh nuh? That overly dramatised and disturbing statement is simply to establish from the outset the extent of my love for Gaga.
I have been waiting impatiently for the premiere of the Telephone video. My breath was baited and bones stiffened with osteoporosis. After all Gaga did say that the video would knock Bad Romance out of the water. So of course mi did excited.
However, the video blows Gaga- like a big mouth ooman on trying to deep throat a two inch dick. Now for more detailed observations
1) The Haus of Gaga suceeded as they always do with costuming and attention to detail. How them find them half-horse, half-human woman deh I have no idea. The blue telephone headgear in the kitchen scene is awesome. Also Gaga sister makes a wicked cameo making you wonder if its her. Cute. The pussy wagon fun concept. Gaga's hair colour- I loved as well. The cigarette glasses I loved those- I kept wondering how many cigarettes were killed in the making of this scene.
2)Film quality- I loved the editing of the video, the colour and that good film geek stuff.
3) about Lady Gaga and Jonas Akerlund writing this foolishness. Unnu too damn lie. The entire video was an ode to Quentin Tarantino. Hello- Kill Bill was up and through that video. The Pussy Wagon is from Kill Bill. I suppose you can take credit for the horrible dialogue between Gaga and Beyonce but that's really about it. It was a bunch of bad odes and parodies. I did also see a small ode to Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in bound- the hairstyles they had, the black leather jacket.Okay,maybe I am over-reaching with Bound. Also there seems to be some Natural Born Killers in there as well- mass killing spree and the reporter.
4)As for Beyonce she...first Lady Gaga out did her in her own video and that little wench name Gaga set up the girl to be outdone again and outdone she was. Lady Gaga mek Beyonce look like one @#%$ out mattress.
5)Tyrese's character could have been played by any other random black yute but I suppose music videos are the excuse Beyonce uses to get close to other men.
6)In general dramatisation before and after is fine but in the middle of the video with a song that sounds best in its entirety. So please to release the short version and soon.
7)The reporter in the video looks like Ricky from Noah's Ark but I could also be over-reaching on this one
A very huge point seemed to be missed in creating the treatment for this video. The song sets up an entire scenario maybe Gaga should have listened to the song. Just a small observation.
I did however figure out why she never answer the phone. She didn't want to tell him that she was a lesbian. The video doesn't have mass appeal but dear God it have lesbian appeal and freak appeal as well cause some of those lesbians have definitely transitioned.
With all that said and based on what I just watched 15 times in order to not miss a beat here is what the video should have been.
A club that looks like a prison. yes. A cross between a prison and a Les-Tranny Bar. If my boyfriend was calling and I was in a place like that I most certainly would not be answering the phone. Incidentally, all Beyonce and Gaga needed was a sex scene to complete what was happening between them.
I have been waiting impatiently for the premiere of the Telephone video. My breath was baited and bones stiffened with osteoporosis. After all Gaga did say that the video would knock Bad Romance out of the water. So of course mi did excited.
However, the video blows Gaga- like a big mouth ooman on trying to deep throat a two inch dick. Now for more detailed observations
1) The Haus of Gaga suceeded as they always do with costuming and attention to detail. How them find them half-horse, half-human woman deh I have no idea. The blue telephone headgear in the kitchen scene is awesome. Also Gaga sister makes a wicked cameo making you wonder if its her. Cute. The pussy wagon fun concept. Gaga's hair colour- I loved as well. The cigarette glasses I loved those- I kept wondering how many cigarettes were killed in the making of this scene.
2)Film quality- I loved the editing of the video, the colour and that good film geek stuff.
3) about Lady Gaga and Jonas Akerlund writing this foolishness. Unnu too damn lie. The entire video was an ode to Quentin Tarantino. Hello- Kill Bill was up and through that video. The Pussy Wagon is from Kill Bill. I suppose you can take credit for the horrible dialogue between Gaga and Beyonce but that's really about it. It was a bunch of bad odes and parodies. I did also see a small ode to Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in bound- the hairstyles they had, the black leather jacket.Okay,maybe I am over-reaching with Bound. Also there seems to be some Natural Born Killers in there as well- mass killing spree and the reporter.
4)As for Beyonce she...first Lady Gaga out did her in her own video and that little wench name Gaga set up the girl to be outdone again and outdone she was. Lady Gaga mek Beyonce look like one @#%$ out mattress.
5)Tyrese's character could have been played by any other random black yute but I suppose music videos are the excuse Beyonce uses to get close to other men.
6)In general dramatisation before and after is fine but in the middle of the video with a song that sounds best in its entirety. So please to release the short version and soon.
7)The reporter in the video looks like Ricky from Noah's Ark but I could also be over-reaching on this one
A very huge point seemed to be missed in creating the treatment for this video. The song sets up an entire scenario maybe Gaga should have listened to the song. Just a small observation.
I did however figure out why she never answer the phone. She didn't want to tell him that she was a lesbian. The video doesn't have mass appeal but dear God it have lesbian appeal and freak appeal as well cause some of those lesbians have definitely transitioned.
With all that said and based on what I just watched 15 times in order to not miss a beat here is what the video should have been.
A club that looks like a prison. yes. A cross between a prison and a Les-Tranny Bar. If my boyfriend was calling and I was in a place like that I most certainly would not be answering the phone. Incidentally, all Beyonce and Gaga needed was a sex scene to complete what was happening between them.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
What does my Jamaica smell like?
So I've been working on answering the question
What does my Jamaica smell like?
An odd question I know but frankly so is 'What does being Jamaican mean to you?'
And my answer to that does not include, athletic glory or how great ackee and saltfish tastes.
But back to my question...I am always observing the countryside as I drive through it
This time I noticed that Kingston smells different from St. Catherine from St. Ann from Trelawny and so on.
Mark you this could just be as a result of Trelawny and St. Ann having better garbage disposal methods than Kingston and st. Catherine, in which case my musings might be marred with flaws.
But I asked myself and my friends that question and I have gotten both crazy and poetic answers.
For me on this day as well as a few others in the past 25 years of my life- my Jamaica smells like Trinidad.
And yes it is soca season so that's not it; because I my friend is a soca junkie of no mean order who practically gets hives in December because it means the soca season is drawing near and when it arrives I am zombie in worship til its over.
In this world of recession where frugal is a way of being and I work a minimum of 3 projects a month to afford my life I cannot buy Jamaican.
Its cheaper to buy Trinidadian.
And let's face it the supermarket shelves only need shadowbenny, shark and iguana to complete the transition.
Its Trinidad all over this bitch.
And it is a little unsettling with this damn Buy Jamaican Campaign everywhere...a campaign which makes no effort to make buying Jamaican affordable but maybe that's the underlying point.
And I guess since I all I can hear on my radio is Air Jamaica this and that Air Jamaica is going to be owned by the Trinis I'm just noticing how much we really are becoming "the land of things owned in Trinidad".
And I am one of those who think Air Jamaica should be sold but then I predicted the demise from them damn champagne flights; while every other airline was cutting food expenses we were serving complimentary champagne.
But this is the same country where a boy will buy an integra and live on cup soup cause he got swagger like that so why should I be surprised that a few bottles of champagne sank the national bird.
As for Dudus him, well that has me in many places. It proves how much the Jamaican people worship America and are willing to sell out being Jamaican for a green card that you have to sell your soul for. It also highlights how little respect America has for other countries.
But again, I am a Jamaican who believed that we should have sent a plane for Al Faisal simply because he is a Jamaican and if he is to be treated like a criminal we should do it cause that's his Jamaican right.
I'm sure if Bruce stood up to France we would be like "France gweh and lef Dudus alone".
I think we should extradite Dudus to Trinidad. By 2012 we just might have a Trini accent so since we are becoming so Trini, let's give them something truly Jamaican- a don man, with political connections that can hold the country at ransom and has an entire section of the country at his finger tips.
Yes, let's do that. He brought an end to Gully-Gaza violence and continues to keep the peace in downtown as a result of his ominous reputation. The legacy he inherited from Daddy.
He could end kidnapping in Trinidad and the feud between Kevin Lyttle and Machel Montano. Its the least we could do.
What does my Jamaica smell like?
An odd question I know but frankly so is 'What does being Jamaican mean to you?'
And my answer to that does not include, athletic glory or how great ackee and saltfish tastes.
But back to my question...I am always observing the countryside as I drive through it
This time I noticed that Kingston smells different from St. Catherine from St. Ann from Trelawny and so on.
Mark you this could just be as a result of Trelawny and St. Ann having better garbage disposal methods than Kingston and st. Catherine, in which case my musings might be marred with flaws.
But I asked myself and my friends that question and I have gotten both crazy and poetic answers.
For me on this day as well as a few others in the past 25 years of my life- my Jamaica smells like Trinidad.
And yes it is soca season so that's not it; because I my friend is a soca junkie of no mean order who practically gets hives in December because it means the soca season is drawing near and when it arrives I am zombie in worship til its over.
In this world of recession where frugal is a way of being and I work a minimum of 3 projects a month to afford my life I cannot buy Jamaican.
Its cheaper to buy Trinidadian.
And let's face it the supermarket shelves only need shadowbenny, shark and iguana to complete the transition.
Its Trinidad all over this bitch.
And it is a little unsettling with this damn Buy Jamaican Campaign everywhere...a campaign which makes no effort to make buying Jamaican affordable but maybe that's the underlying point.
And I guess since I all I can hear on my radio is Air Jamaica this and that Air Jamaica is going to be owned by the Trinis I'm just noticing how much we really are becoming "the land of things owned in Trinidad".
And I am one of those who think Air Jamaica should be sold but then I predicted the demise from them damn champagne flights; while every other airline was cutting food expenses we were serving complimentary champagne.
But this is the same country where a boy will buy an integra and live on cup soup cause he got swagger like that so why should I be surprised that a few bottles of champagne sank the national bird.
As for Dudus him, well that has me in many places. It proves how much the Jamaican people worship America and are willing to sell out being Jamaican for a green card that you have to sell your soul for. It also highlights how little respect America has for other countries.
But again, I am a Jamaican who believed that we should have sent a plane for Al Faisal simply because he is a Jamaican and if he is to be treated like a criminal we should do it cause that's his Jamaican right.
I'm sure if Bruce stood up to France we would be like "France gweh and lef Dudus alone".
I think we should extradite Dudus to Trinidad. By 2012 we just might have a Trini accent so since we are becoming so Trini, let's give them something truly Jamaican- a don man, with political connections that can hold the country at ransom and has an entire section of the country at his finger tips.
Yes, let's do that. He brought an end to Gully-Gaza violence and continues to keep the peace in downtown as a result of his ominous reputation. The legacy he inherited from Daddy.
He could end kidnapping in Trinidad and the feud between Kevin Lyttle and Machel Montano. Its the least we could do.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
God and The Broadcast Message Suicides
The blackberry like any other technological device likes to keep fresh and stay pon top a tings. While being at my fingertips the blackberry with its smart phone technology comes with what could be considered cellphones greatest tool...Blackberry Messenger.
RIM said we need to do more and added new features...fun...group chats, fancy colours, new emoticons, pictures and the broadcast message.
At first glance the broadcast message is an amazing and brilliant idea but anything invented for good becomes a menace when placed in the hands of evil. And you evil people damn well know unnu selves.
I am not someone who checks forwards- I dont care about that dick joke, or cock joke or pums joke and I dont need to see the midget with his head up the baby canal. I also dont need the written version of that tale at my fingertips on my BLACKBERRY.
Other than annoying- unless you advertising an event and promotion is important. The broadcast message is impersonal and what is your gold is my trash. So no I dont want to go through my BBM List to see who i would want to be friends with, kiss, hug or do the dirty diana with. Call me crazy for having a life.
But you know my favourite BM- the ones from God. You know what I dont get about the oh so omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent being that is God. he always seem to be the last one to tap into the technological scene. God always starts to send out forwards, messages, put up build boards and now the broadcast message long after everyone else. Is he testing the waters or what?
If all I needed to do to confirm my love to God was wake up and say I love you God and make sure to send a message telling others to do the same,my life would be much simpler. Wait, I forgot something. The message must include a death threat.
Wid the way God a gwaan, who needs Church! Why set aside time for worship? If God can BB me; mi must can link him back. Oh wait. I Cant...BECAUSE ITS NOT GOD!
Its not even a radical Christian, its someone who is too lazy or too hungover on a saturday or sunday morning to take time out for God and feel like if them send message with death threat it mek God smile (not that I can speak for the guy)
stop sending me bullshit.stop sending me bullshit @4 in the morning when i jump up convinced something wrong with smaddy.
I recommend a mass suicide of the broadcast message before I kill it but then again Broadcast Messages probably have their own Jesus currently in his second trimester in a Blackberry Storm 2.
Yuh know what I think I better get a Nokia 3310 before I commit suicide.
RIM said we need to do more and added new features...fun...group chats, fancy colours, new emoticons, pictures and the broadcast message.
At first glance the broadcast message is an amazing and brilliant idea but anything invented for good becomes a menace when placed in the hands of evil. And you evil people damn well know unnu selves.
I am not someone who checks forwards- I dont care about that dick joke, or cock joke or pums joke and I dont need to see the midget with his head up the baby canal. I also dont need the written version of that tale at my fingertips on my BLACKBERRY.
Other than annoying- unless you advertising an event and promotion is important. The broadcast message is impersonal and what is your gold is my trash. So no I dont want to go through my BBM List to see who i would want to be friends with, kiss, hug or do the dirty diana with. Call me crazy for having a life.
But you know my favourite BM- the ones from God. You know what I dont get about the oh so omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent being that is God. he always seem to be the last one to tap into the technological scene. God always starts to send out forwards, messages, put up build boards and now the broadcast message long after everyone else. Is he testing the waters or what?
If all I needed to do to confirm my love to God was wake up and say I love you God and make sure to send a message telling others to do the same,my life would be much simpler. Wait, I forgot something. The message must include a death threat.
Wid the way God a gwaan, who needs Church! Why set aside time for worship? If God can BB me; mi must can link him back. Oh wait. I Cant...BECAUSE ITS NOT GOD!
Its not even a radical Christian, its someone who is too lazy or too hungover on a saturday or sunday morning to take time out for God and feel like if them send message with death threat it mek God smile (not that I can speak for the guy)
stop sending me bullshit.stop sending me bullshit @4 in the morning when i jump up convinced something wrong with smaddy.
I recommend a mass suicide of the broadcast message before I kill it but then again Broadcast Messages probably have their own Jesus currently in his second trimester in a Blackberry Storm 2.
Yuh know what I think I better get a Nokia 3310 before I commit suicide.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Dancehall, Daggering and the Tyrannosaurus Sex
"gyal brace pon mi...mek a mek yuh feel it
gyal jump pon mi...mek a mek yuh feel it
gyal rub up on mi...mek a mek yuh feel it...
lawd shi cyan tek nuh more, daggering in deh
morning har belly bottom sore"
After watching the Tyrannosaurus Sex Valentine Special on the Discovery Channel last night i have decided that not only was that how the T-Rex wooed his lady but also that based on some of these dancehall lyrics, we Jamaicans are having DINOSAUR Sex. More about the Jamaican part later.
Locomotive Entertainment Group felt that the mystery the human race has been dying to solve is how did the T-Rex dagger apparently Jurassic Park Failed at properly exploring the life of the dinosaur. I'm not sure if its the fact that some men spend decades looking at fossils to figure out how they did the nasty or the fact that this was a Valentine special that weirds me out. Actually I think its both.
Now this was a late night feature- adult only entertainment. I always wondered when porn would make it mainstream. Better yet in this recession- this dinosaur daggermentary had the budget of a feature film CGI Animation, interviews with Paleontologists around the world and a first hand look at the T-Rex penis.
Though mi nuh really tink mi did need this documentary fi tell me say the lady T-Rex had to move her tail out of the way for her 'boy' to show her a good time. Common Sense answered that question.
"Ultimately we had to make sure that everything we were doing was spot on. It's one thing to have the sizzle of animating dinosaurs having sex, but what takes it to the next level is when the information is there. It really is a learning experience for the viewer."- Gabrielle Gornell, the Director
But you know what struck me as I watched the Titanosaurus getting it on. That the many ways dinosaurs had to contort themselves in order to experience life's greatest pleasure looks like stuff I have seen at Weddy Weddy. And frankly Vybz Kartel, Aidonia, Busy Signal or even Lady Saw could have easily penned the soundtrack for this valentine special (every time I say that it cracks me up)
And I'm not sure "Baby, I'm a do you like a t-rex" is a compliment waiting to happen.
As ridiculous as the whole thing was, I really started to worry that my sex looked like stegosaurus for a minute there.
All I'm saying is the next time you thinking to take it sideways...think about the T-Rex...actually don't...it might kill the mood.
"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel"
gyal jump pon mi...mek a mek yuh feel it
gyal rub up on mi...mek a mek yuh feel it...
lawd shi cyan tek nuh more, daggering in deh
morning har belly bottom sore"
After watching the Tyrannosaurus Sex Valentine Special on the Discovery Channel last night i have decided that not only was that how the T-Rex wooed his lady but also that based on some of these dancehall lyrics, we Jamaicans are having DINOSAUR Sex. More about the Jamaican part later.
Locomotive Entertainment Group felt that the mystery the human race has been dying to solve is how did the T-Rex dagger apparently Jurassic Park Failed at properly exploring the life of the dinosaur. I'm not sure if its the fact that some men spend decades looking at fossils to figure out how they did the nasty or the fact that this was a Valentine special that weirds me out. Actually I think its both.
Now this was a late night feature- adult only entertainment. I always wondered when porn would make it mainstream. Better yet in this recession- this dinosaur daggermentary had the budget of a feature film CGI Animation, interviews with Paleontologists around the world and a first hand look at the T-Rex penis.
Though mi nuh really tink mi did need this documentary fi tell me say the lady T-Rex had to move her tail out of the way for her 'boy' to show her a good time. Common Sense answered that question.
"Ultimately we had to make sure that everything we were doing was spot on. It's one thing to have the sizzle of animating dinosaurs having sex, but what takes it to the next level is when the information is there. It really is a learning experience for the viewer."- Gabrielle Gornell, the Director
But you know what struck me as I watched the Titanosaurus getting it on. That the many ways dinosaurs had to contort themselves in order to experience life's greatest pleasure looks like stuff I have seen at Weddy Weddy. And frankly Vybz Kartel, Aidonia, Busy Signal or even Lady Saw could have easily penned the soundtrack for this valentine special (every time I say that it cracks me up)
And I'm not sure "Baby, I'm a do you like a t-rex" is a compliment waiting to happen.
As ridiculous as the whole thing was, I really started to worry that my sex looked like stegosaurus for a minute there.
All I'm saying is the next time you thinking to take it sideways...think about the T-Rex...actually don't...it might kill the mood.
"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel"
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