What is the obsession with Persia?
It could be the breathtaking Perisan beauty, the beads or the clothes or the amazing fascination we have with Prince and Princesses. Or maybe we are just too bored with our own lives.
Anyways, it is that sense of boredom, friendship and a cue of rum that brought me and the Prince of Persia together in the first place. The boredom I regret, the other two I will keep.
Let's begin with facts- the Prince of Persia is a video game. The brainchild of what I have decided is some man obsessed with trite and love conquers all bullcrap.
The film is based on the Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The third instalment in the Prince of Persia video game series. I think the film started going downhill the minute it was based on a video game.
There was time when the new worlds would never dare meet but as CGI becomes the heart of the top grossing films video games are getting their 15 minutes of fame on the big screen.
But a great film isn't based on swinging and jumping and sand turning back time. A great film is based on a well worked plot, characters that take your breath away and dialogue. Sensible dialogue.
Prince of Persia was a bunch of white people with long hair and British accents playing hop scotch in sand. Lots and lots of sand.God bless Jake Gylenhaal for putting in time at the gym, Ben Kingsley for having those eyes and the bond girl for being a Bond Girl- one can reminisce on her bond performance while she is on screen.
And I think that' where it lost me- where were the Persians? And don't tell me they were hard to find cause with all that sand- they clearly had a budget. Them couldn't find two Persian. They can't tell me they needed big name actors for the film to make it big.
It has been proven time and time again that as far as fans of fantasy and adventure go- if the plot is what we expect it to be will make that unknown into Hollywood's next big star.
The actors in the Lord of the Rings were known to us but definitely not Hollywood's leading men. Jake you were a bore and you don't look good with long hair on your head and you look as Persian as I do.
And let's talk about script- the story is based in the 6th century and postulate that the words bureaucrat, Armageddon and entrepreneur were not being wielded so freely back then but who am I to pay attention to detail.
And as I write this and force myself to remember this horrific moment in my past I can't decide if the movie or the people enjoying it were more traumatic. The theatre was full to capacity and I was very confused. They were with Prince Dastan and his kangaroo moves all the way.
And before you think it doesn't make me harsh; it makes them in need of having better standards for what entertains them.
Prince of Persia was usurped by the company. God bless the company. It was like a sign from the heavens saying if this teaches you anything- DO NOT GO TO THE MOVIES ALONE!