Friday, March 12, 2010

"I told you she didnt have a dick"

This blog is for the Haus and Gaga. Stefani Germanotta if you ask mi woulda have yuh baby dem yuh nuh? That overly dramatised and disturbing statement is simply to establish from the outset the extent of my love for Gaga.
I have been waiting impatiently for the premiere of the Telephone video. My breath was baited and bones stiffened with osteoporosis. After all Gaga did say that the video would knock Bad Romance out of the water. So of course mi did excited.
However, the video blows Gaga- like a big mouth ooman on trying to deep throat a two inch dick. Now for more detailed observations

1) The Haus of Gaga suceeded as they always do with costuming and attention to detail. How them find them half-horse, half-human woman deh I have no idea. The blue telephone headgear in the kitchen scene is awesome. Also Gaga sister makes a wicked cameo making you wonder if its her. Cute. The pussy wagon fun concept. Gaga's hair colour- I loved as well. The cigarette glasses I loved those- I kept wondering how many cigarettes were killed in the making of this scene.

2)Film quality- I loved the editing of the video, the colour and that good film geek stuff.

3) about Lady Gaga and Jonas Akerlund writing this foolishness. Unnu too damn lie. The entire video was an ode to Quentin Tarantino. Hello- Kill Bill was up and through that video. The Pussy Wagon is from Kill Bill. I suppose you can take credit for the horrible dialogue between Gaga and Beyonce but that's really about it. It was a bunch of bad odes and parodies. I did also see a small ode to Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in bound- the hairstyles they had, the black leather jacket.Okay,maybe I am over-reaching with Bound. Also there seems to be some Natural Born Killers in there as well- mass killing spree and the reporter.

4)As for Beyonce she...first Lady Gaga out did her in her own video and that little wench name Gaga set up the girl to be outdone again and outdone she was. Lady Gaga mek Beyonce look like one @#%$ out mattress.

5)Tyrese's character could have been played by any other random black yute but I suppose music videos are the excuse Beyonce uses to get close to other men.

6)In general dramatisation before and after is fine but in the middle of the video with a song that sounds best in its entirety. So please to release the short version and soon.

7)The reporter in the video looks like Ricky from Noah's Ark but I could also be over-reaching on this one

A very huge point seemed to be missed in creating the treatment for this video. The song sets up an entire scenario maybe Gaga should have listened to the song. Just a small observation.

I did however figure out why she never answer the phone. She didn't want to tell him that she was a lesbian. The video doesn't have mass appeal but dear God it have lesbian appeal and freak appeal as well cause some of those lesbians have definitely transitioned.

With all that said and based on what I just watched 15 times in order to not miss a beat here is what the video should have been.

A club that looks like a prison. yes. A cross between a prison and a Les-Tranny Bar. If my boyfriend was calling and I was in a place like that I most certainly would not be answering the phone. Incidentally, all Beyonce and Gaga needed was a sex scene to complete what was happening between them.

1 comment:

  1. so gaga and her possible penis aside... i just got the 'lambstat' thing.