Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Stating the obvious has been ruining perfectly good moments for generations. You know the moment I'm talking about when you're peacefully experiencing a public place to suddenly encounter a childhood friend or schoolmate. Your eyes do a little squint and you start scanning your brain for the right name while holding that courteous fake smile perfectly in place. The obligatory hug is so beautifully uncomfortable and then this 'blast from the past' that just interrupted your much anticipated burger king goes "you've gained so much weight, you used to be really skinny, did something happen?" Well its funny you should ask the question you just answered at the beginning of the sentence. This rarely mastered art form is called 'stating the obvious'.

What intrigues me most about this strange human practice is we don't think its inappropriate. This confuses me. You walk into the clothing store and you see each other and falsely laughing it up and then someone goes "your hair, its so different". All that fake joy lost forever. And then there is the very generic "my how you've changed" Do we really need to do this to each other? Humans are such fragile beings. And these random encounters of stating the obvious don't end there. They become phone calls to current films that start with sentences like "you would not believe who I just saw", "Guess what that bitch [insert name here] from high school just said to me". And there is the negative start to the conversation that puts pressure on the real friend in your life "tell me the truth, do you think I'm fat. like do you think I need to lose weight?" Awkward silence anyone. Because now this poor friend who has been loving you without open judgement has to rectify the potential damage of stating the obvious without impacting your friendship.

My favourites are those who state the obvious and don't even realise it. You know when someone knew you in your ugly phase and they run into you years later in your hot phase and the expression on their face says "is that really her?" And you just want to go "yes, its me bitch and yes I am hotter than you and that makes me smile."

Stating the obvious has the disastrous domino effect. Someone is going to leave the situation with doubt, questions, merry wonderment. As a collective world of citizens I think we should band together and boycott stating the obvious. We must save ourselves from the tailspin that stating the obvious results in. I'm one voice in a million but I'm letting it all hang out for the greater good.


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