Monday, February 15, 2010

Dancehall, Daggering and the Tyrannosaurus Sex

"gyal brace pon mi...mek a mek yuh feel it
gyal jump pon mi...mek a mek yuh feel it
gyal rub up on mi...mek a mek yuh feel it...
lawd shi cyan tek nuh more, daggering in deh
morning har belly bottom sore"

After watching the Tyrannosaurus Sex Valentine Special on the Discovery Channel last night i have decided that not only was that how the T-Rex wooed his lady but also that based on some of these dancehall lyrics, we Jamaicans are having DINOSAUR Sex. More about the Jamaican part later.

Locomotive Entertainment Group felt that the mystery the human race has been dying to solve is how did the T-Rex dagger apparently Jurassic Park Failed at properly exploring the life of the dinosaur. I'm not sure if its the fact that some men spend decades looking at fossils to figure out how they did the nasty or the fact that this was a Valentine special that weirds me out. Actually I think its both.

Now this was a late night feature- adult only entertainment. I always wondered when porn would make it mainstream. Better yet in this recession- this dinosaur daggermentary had the budget of a feature film CGI Animation, interviews with Paleontologists around the world and a first hand look at the T-Rex penis.

Though mi nuh really tink mi did need this documentary fi tell me say the lady T-Rex had to move her tail out of the way for her 'boy' to show her a good time. Common Sense answered that question.

"Ultimately we had to make sure that everything we were doing was spot on. It's one thing to have the sizzle of animating dinosaurs having sex, but what takes it to the next level is when the information is there. It really is a learning experience for the viewer."- Gabrielle Gornell, the Director

But you know what struck me as I watched the Titanosaurus getting it on. That the many ways dinosaurs had to contort themselves in order to experience life's greatest pleasure looks like stuff I have seen at Weddy Weddy. And frankly Vybz Kartel, Aidonia, Busy Signal or even Lady Saw could have easily penned the soundtrack for this valentine special (every time I say that it cracks me up)

And I'm not sure "Baby, I'm a do you like a t-rex" is a compliment waiting to happen.
As ridiculous as the whole thing was, I really started to worry that my sex looked like stegosaurus for a minute there.

All I'm saying is the next time you thinking to take it sideways...think about the T-Rex...actually don' might kill the mood.

"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel"

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